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The Pie PiperKitty and Bunny find salvation and salivation from the Divine Pie Truck

ChocodillyKitty and Bunny get trapped in Candy Town's chocolate sewers

Sugarplums of WrathKitty and Bunny get a special treat from The Sugarplum Fairy

Am I Hotwheels Or Not?Lex buys a used car which turns out not to be the pussy magnet he hoped.

Candy Is GoodA cat chases a rabbit into a hole and they discover a magical land of candy

GothbotShe lives in the dark realm between shadow-world and the mall.

01/23/10 in cartoons

10/31/09 in cartoons

01/03/09 in cartoons

11/04/07 in cartoons

07/18/07 in cartoons

06/20/07 in cartoons

random cartoons and games

Bum's RushHelp Boris the Bum dodge traffic to snag loose change and outrun the cops.

We Are Robots: Angrybot: RecessAngrybot gets stuck with yard duty during recess.

We Are Robots: kegomaticThis robotic frat boy is ready to party! So lock your door & hide the beer.

We Are Robots: GothbotShe lives in the dark realm between shadow-world and the mall.

Candy Hole: The Pie PiperKitty and Bunny find salvation and salivation from the Divine Pie Truck

Hell On EarthDane Cook stars in this tale of demons and refrigeration.

Filthy Pests: The Hole ThingThe pests find something delicious at the bottom of dark pit -themselves.

Stack The CatsCats are for stacking! Cluster clumps of cats in chunks of 4 or more!

White Bread Blues: Varmint CountryCody, Gunter & Lyle go hunting varmints, but make a bigger kill. Slightly.

Drunk UncleDrunk Uncle crashes his family's Christmas dinner. Literally.

Filthy Pests: Am I Hotwheels Or Not?Lex buys a used car which turns out not to be the pussy magnet he hoped.

We Are Robots: RobokopfAn avant garde, eurotrash, intellectual elite, post-modern robot artist

We Are Robots: AngrybotHe's mad as hell, and it's probably because you suck.

Bitter Pill: The Twisted StomachBattle vicious viruses & bad ass bacteria in a pill noir adventure game

Stone Broke HoboSingin' Skeet sings about the life of a hobo.

We Are Robots: Sad RobotThe sad life of a pitiful robot. It would be tragic he was alive.

Candy Hole: Sugarplums of WrathKitty and Bunny get a special treat from The Sugarplum Fairy

Candy Hole: ChocodillyKitty and Bunny get trapped in Candy Town's chocolate sewers

latest words

Feely Feelings: Is My Peanut Butter Rancid?When do good peanuts go bad?

"There is a really old jar of peanut butter in my fridge. I think it moved with me from my last apartment. Its just peanuts, and you don’t refrigerate nuts, so it should still be good, right?" - Anonymous, California
As a penny-pinching peanut aficionado, I’m sure glad I’m not in your shoes. Tough call. If the jar passed the smell test, then there’s a good chance it’s is sandwich-safe. Peanut butter doesn’t really spoil for a couple years at room temperature and yours was refrigerated. Even if it has gone 'bad', the only noticeable change would be a slight stale taste and a chemical reaction that converts the peanut oil into a highly poisonous Aphlotoxin. There’s a descent chance that it wouldn’t even kill you, at least not right away. I say go for it. It’s probably worth the risk when you consider that a fresh jar could cost upwards of four dollars.

On the other hand, if you’re too big of a wuss to play Russian Ratatouille with your condiments, ... Read More

Feely Feelings: I feel unattractive. What can I do to be hotter?Some advice for the physically unfortunate

"I just feel ugly lately. I know it's superficial, but it sucks when guys just don't bother asking you out. I just want to give up and go hide." - Karen, New York
I'm sorry you feel ugly. Feeling ugly is worse than feeling stupid and hungry combined. But let me first ask you an important question. Are you? Really. Are you? Are you actually ugly, or are you one of those pretty girls who goes around whining about your two pimples and asking if your size 1 ass looks fat in jeans three sizes too small? Shit, even Gandhi would have muffin-top in jeans like that. I have nothing but contempt for hot girls who go around grunting about how ugly they are just to get people to tell them they’re pretty. Ugliness is a serious problem, and what you’re doing is disgusting. You’re like someone with a twisted ankle calling herself a ‘cripple’ for sympathy points. Basically, if you’re more Madonna than Medusa, you can just shut your full, perky lips. You sicken me.

On the... Read More

Feely Feelings: Does my dog really love me?Let's explore the motives behind your pet's affection

"It seems like my dog really loves me. He cuddles in my bed and gets excited when I get home. My girlfriend says he's just sucking up to me for food. What do you think?" - Ronnie, Los Angeles

Don’t worry Ronnie. Your dog truly loves you. He also loves the smell and taste of his own ass. He loves chewing up your new phone, knocking over the trash and peeing on the couch during your dinner party. I’d say the real question is: Do you love him? Or is he just a substitute for that baby you never had? Come to think of it, do your parents really love you or is their affection just a vestigial biological, evolutionary chemical reaction in your brain to help the species survive. Kind of like the evolutionary reaction that makes you piss your pants when you’re scared.

Humans fall in love for all the wrong reasons. Why deny your dog that same right? If you can love a man for his Porsche, his rock-hard abs or because he’s friends with a member of Pearl Jam, let you... Read More

3 more

Feely Feelings: What Tattoo Should I Get?Think before you ink! Here's how to avoid some some tattoo taboos.

"I've decided to get a tattoo, but I'm not sure what I should get? Any ideas?" - Morgan, San Diego

Well, Morgan. So you’re getting a tattoo. Good for you! Tattoos are just the thing to make men to seem more virile and dangerous, and to make women to seem more exotic and whorish – in a good way. I can’t tell you what to get. You’ll need to figure that out for yourself. But I can tell you what you should definitely not get, so you’ll wind up a badass, and not an embarrassment.

First of all, unless it’s a simple, classic design, never pick a tattoo off the wall of the tattoo shop. Hundreds of other people have that same flaming tiger and if you pick it, you’re a stupid boner. Never design your own tattoo. If you’re not an artist, you’ll draw something bad that other people will know is ugly even if you don’t. Or if you are an artist, you’ll be constantly staring at and critiquing your own work, thinking, “Dude, I could totally draw a ... Read More

That's Not Nice: Beeps where they don't belong.

Remember the good old days? You know, the days when you had the power to get back at the businesses and craftsmen who fucked you over. If your plow broke on the first use, you could just drag it back to the lazy, incompetent blacksmith and bust his teeth on it. If the milkman left you curdled milk, you could murder his family in their sleep - leaving him alive to suffer with emotional anguish (and possibly a mouthful of busted teeth).

Now that we live in the age of the 30 day money-back-guarantee, there's less teeth bashing and family killing. But what happens when things aren't broken - just fucking stupid? I've got a Motorolla RAZR, a phone that used to be a coveted status symbol but was pretty much reduced to the free phone you get when you start a new plan by the time I got it. I don't need a phone to "do stuff". I just want it slim enough to fit in my pocket without looking like I'm sporting wood.

But what do I really look for in a phone? I want one that doesn'... Read More

That's Not Nice: One man, clapping slowlyThe triumph of courage

You know the scene. Someone has just given a controversial performance or speech in front of a crowd. It's been shocking, ballsy and probably from the heart. There is silence in the crowd until one man stands up. He starts clapping slow and hard. CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! The rest of the crowd is awakened from their stunned silence and gives a massive standing ovation with whistling, cheering and hats in the air. Freeze frame. Fade out.

Who does that solo-clapping man think he his? We almost had a nice juicy riot on our hands and he has to take charge and turn it into a wank-fest. Why does the crowd think they have to agree? His judgment could be wrong. Maybe he just wants to get the whole thing to move along because he's got to go take a wicked leak.

This hokey, hack plot device actually has a lot of truth in it. People are such sheep. Most of us are more afraid of going against the flock than just about anything else! even hairy spiders. Here's a riddle to help illustrate ... Read More

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